


Tomorrow

by Mika-chan (mikarin)



Category: Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Adventure
Genre: Drama, High School, M/M, Panic Attacks, Stressed Tai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-08-12 13:12:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7936045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikarin/pseuds/Mika-chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s times like these when his father won’t stop lecturing him about school and when Yamato won’t stop being so self-absorbed, that Tai wishes life could be simple again—could really be just about fighting evil Digimon and saving the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this back in 2003. Unbetaed and completely unrelated to the Waver Universe. Enjoy!
> 
> Onii-chan = Older brother  
> Nee-chan = Sis(ter)  
> Hai = Yes  
> Senpai = Upperclassman

He doesn't like it, doesn't like being ignored and that is exactly what Yamato is doing at the moment. So, he leaves. He knows his boyfriend doesn't mean it, that he’s just excited about his upcoming concert, but, even so, he just can’t deal with it today.

Taichi slings his bag over his shoulder, idly wondering when Yamato will notice he’s gone. He snorts. Probably won't notice until he got home, the jerk.

Taichi speeds up his pace, his steps treading heavily on the pavement. He isn’t sure what he was thinking when he decided to head over to Yamato’s band rehearsal after football practice. He just hasn’t seen or heard from Yamato in a while and wanted to check to see if the other was still alive. The blonde was alive all right and actually shot him a slightly annoyed look when he arrived. Taichi would have taken offense if he wasn’t used to his boyfriend’s sporadic moods. Still, it stung when Taichi’s inquiries as to how their practice was going and if they decided on a set list yet was met with curt responses or were flat out ignored. Taichi knows when he’s unwelcome and books it out of there fairly quickly.

"I'm home!" he hollers as he opens the front door to his house, kicking off his shoes and making a beeline for his bedroom.

"Welcome home, honey. How was your day at school?" he hears his mom ask as he walks past the kitchen.

"Fine," he says right before he slams his bedroom door shut and locks it immediately afterward. He leans against it for a moment, taking in a deep breath to try to calm his nerves.

It isn’t working.

Tossing his bag on the floor, he looks around for his football. Finding it under a pile of dirty clothes, he begins juggling a bit, the motions usually having a somewhat calming affect whenever he was angry. With his mind focused solely on the ball bouncing on his knee, he’s able to escape from reality for a while. He doesn't have to think about his father railing on him about his less than stellar grades. Doesn't have to think about his future, no matter how much his guidance councilor keeps hinting to him that he should. Doesn't have to think about growing up. Doesn't **_want_ ** to think about Yamato.

His foot slips, missing the pick up and the ball bounces dully on the floor.

"Damn it," he growls, kicking the ball to the far corner of the room. It hits another pile of clothes and rolls back a few inches before stopping.

He expels a frustrated breath, walking to his bed and flopping down on top of it, eyes fixed to the ceiling.

Stupid Yamato.

He reaches behind him blindly, his hand finally finding what he was searching for and he holds it in front of his eyes. An Agumon plush smiles back at him and he soon feels his lips forming the same expression. He knows it’s rather silly for someone his age to have a stuffed animal, but hey, if he can't have the real thing, it’s nice to have some kind of a reminder nearby.

"I sure miss you, Agumon," he finds himself saying. "You know, sometimes I think saving the Digital World was easier than this. Well, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't want to go through the Dark Masters again. It's just, well, you know...okay, so I can't explain it and yes, I know I'm talking to a doll, but at least I know you’re listening...I think." He sighs, rolling over on to his belly and putting Agumon back beside his pillow. Arms folded under his chin, he focuses his eyes on Agumon's for a while.

_Everything will be okay, Tai. I just know it._

Yeah, Taichi thinks, closing his eyes. I just wish I was so sure about it too.

oOo

He wakes up the next morning his mind clear and alert, something quite unusual considering the clock on the wall said it was five twenty-eight in the morning. He rolls over, pulls his blankets with him over his head and closes his eyes. It’s too early to be awake. He doesn’t need to be up for another hour at least, well, at the latest. His mom will begin her usual routine of calling, shouting, and finally dragging him out of bed in another forty and he isn’t about to break tradition. So Taichi lays there for a while beneath the blue blanket he’s had since he was seven and wills himself to fall back asleep.

It doesn’t take long before he throws back the comforter, a large, frustrated sigh blowing past his lips as he sits upright in his bed. He runs an annoyed hand across his face and moves it up and through his hair, pushing back the disarrayed strands. He kicks his covers as if they are to blame for him being awake at such an ungodly hour. He kicks them with much more force than is necessary until they are at the edge of his bed. That done he stalks to the bathroom.

Normally he doesn’t shower in the morning, but since he obviously has the time and no one else is in line for the bathroom, he takes a long, hot one. He walks out fifteen minutes later, more relaxed and feeling much better. As he finishes dressing, he glances over to his clock and figures it’s still early enough for him to get a little practice in before school started. Their team is in the final round that will determine whether they get to play in the annual nationwide high school football tournament, and the deciding game is taking place next Friday. It’s the closest Odaiba has ever been to participating in the tournament and Taichi is damned if they miss out with him as captain.

He grabs his bag where he left it by his desk, scoops up his football ball, and tucks it under his arm as he leaves his room. Sunlight is slowly making its way into the kitchen and he knows the rest of his family will be up soon. He contemplates for a moment by the stove, wondering if he has enough time to whip up something quick before they wake up. In the end his stomach decides for him when it grumbles loudly for some nourishment. Setting his things to the side, he moves toward the fridge and pulls out a carton of eggs and milk and goes to work. He’s scooping up his omelet from the frying pan when he hears the creak of a door opening and the ensuing slap-slap sound of slippers. It’s his mom and his shoulders relax down from his ears. It looks like he won’t be able to leave without seeing one of his parents this morning, but if he’s lucky he’ll be able to slip out before his dad wakes up. The last thing he needs is another lecture—is seriously getting rather sick of it in fact.

He doesn’t understand why his dad thinks yelling at him will help him figure out what he wants to do after high school—how he is supposed to even _know_ what he wants to do for the rest of his life when he is only seventeen years old. He doesn’t have any ambitions just yet, isn’t particularly interested in any one subject that can shed some light on what he wants to be. It doesn’t help that all his friends seem to know what they want to do, how they possess some talent or interest that helps direct them to a clear future that he can barely grasp. When he really thinks about it—and he has, no matter what his father says—it is somewhat depressing to know that he is the only one who doesn’t have a clue.

“Taichi?”

Tai turns around just in time to catch the owlish look his mother gives him and he can’t help but smile. “Morning Mom,” he greets as he walks to the kitchen table, carrying a plate and glass of milk in each hand.

Yuuko Yagami continues to blink but it doesn’t change the scene that insists to play in front of her. Her eldest and only son is awake, dressed, and eating breakfast and she hasn’t even gotten to brush her teeth yet. Something is truly off with this picture. She walks the remaining steps into the kitchen and sits herself down in the seat beside her son’s and places a hand above his forehead. “You don’t feel warm,” she murmurs softly, brow furrowing.

Now it’s Taichi’s turn to blink and he grins slightly as he brushes his mother’s hand away. “I’m fine, Mom. Is it **_that_ ** weird for me to be up this early—Wait, don’t answer that,” he interrupts himself with a wave of his fork. “It _is_ weird.” He gives a shrug, scooping more eggs into his mouth and talking around them. “Just woke up this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. So, I thought I could get some practice in before school started.”

“Don’t speak with your mouth full, Taichi,” she says by rote and receives the habitual and drawn out ‘hai’ in return that makes her smile. Some things never changed with her children. She can’t believe how fast they are growing. Hikari will be taking entrance exams for high school next year and Taichi is going to be a senior...it doesn’t seem so long ago when they were running around the house and pulling on her apron for some cookies. Although, come to think of it, they both did that this past Sunday...

She settles back in here seat and asks, “So...the big game is next Friday, isn’t it?”

Taichi’s fork pauses a few centimeters from his mouth and he spares her a sideways glance. “Yeah...” he replies, a hint of wariness in his voice if one listens closely enough. His fork resumes its path to his mouth, and he swallows before he speaks again. “What about it?”

Yuuko worries her lip at the defensive tone, but presses onward with what she planned to say. “Oh, just wanted to make sure on the date. I was hoping I could come see the game.” The edges of her lips curve up a bit at the loud clang Taichi’s fork makes when he suddenly drops it on his plate and whips his head around to stare at her in surprise. “I haven’t been to one of your games in a long time and considering this is such an important one, I thought this was the best time as any.” She expects some sort of reaction, one leaning more towards the happy side, but receives quite the opposite.

Taichi watches his mom for a few more seconds before he frowns down at his nearly empty plate. “Dad’ll be angry,” he says at length. His dad doesn’t like how much time he’s investing in football—can’t understand why he doesn’t put as much effort into his studies as he does with the sport. There is no future in football, he says, but Tai isn’t looking for a future in football; he just loves playing it. Why can’t his dad understand that?

“He’ll get over it.” His mom sighs. “Tai...you know he’s only worried about you.”

“Yeah,” he replies, voice clipped, before pushing back his chair and bringing his dishes to the sink to rinse off.

“Tai—”

“I know, Mom.” His voice isn’t nearly so hostile now and he turns off the faucet and wipes his hands on the beige dish towel lying beside the sink. “It’s just—” he pauses then shakes his head roughly and walks to the stove.

Yuuko watches him for a few more moments before focusing her attention on the pattern of the placemat resting beneath her fingers. It’s a touchy subject as of late and up until now she hasn’t really taken sides. She actually doesn’t **_want_ ** to take sides. How can she? On one hand she feels compelled to support her husband’s stance because she also agrees that Taichi’s education is important. Yet, she knows how much football means to her son and doesn’t want him to give it up either. She knows Taichi tries his best in school, if only Susumu could see that. She knows her husband is only worried about Tai and only wants what’s best for him. And Taichi...Taichi looks so tired lately and it’s beginning to make her worry.

She’s pulled out of her thoughts when a plateful of scrambled eggs suddenly appear in front of her along with a cup of tea. She turns her head just as her son breezes by, bag over his shoulder, football ball under his arm.

“I’ll be home late today because of practice. I’m leaving!” he says as is customary when one leaves the house.

“Have a safe trip,” she replies just before she hears the front door close and she turns back to her breakfast, a smile lighting her face. It’s been a long time since someone’s made her breakfast. Her son is always full of surprises.

She is just taking her first bite when her husband finally stumbles into the kitchen.

“Was that Taichi?”

Yuuko nods, swallowing before replying, “Yes. He made me breakfast. Wasn’t that nice?”

Susumu sits down in the seat his son just recently vacated, hand rubbing the side of his head. “Hmm...He’s up rather early. School doesn’t start for another hour and a half.”

She nods, revealing nothing more and continues to eat.

“He’s off wasting his time with that game again, isn’t he?”

She puts down her fork with a sigh. “You’re too hard on him, dear.”

Susumu doesn’t back down, his tone growing cooler. “If not me, then who will be?”

She doesn’t rise to the bait, not wanting to ruin the morning with an argument and instead, continues to eat, eyes cast down. Satisfied, Susumu rises from his seat to get a cup of coffee.

oOo

Taichi breathes heavily with his hands braced over his knees and sweat dripping down the sides of his face. He wipes the droplets away and collapses onto his back, eyes trained upwards as his chest continues to heave up and down. He’s been practicing for a while now, mentally picturing his opponents from the information they gathered and going from there. The Kaisei team is tough, but not so tough that they don’t have a chance of winning. They are pretty evenly matched in his opinion which means both teams will be trying their best that day.

 _We’ll just have to try harder_ , Tai thinks, his heart slowing to its regular beat. He lifts his left hand, glances at his watch, and sees that school will be starting soon. It’ll probably be a good idea if he makes a quick trip to the gym to take a shower before he goes to class. With that thought in mind he drags his tired body off the ground and begins gathering his things.

“Taichi-senpai!”

Taichi starts, twisting his head around until he catches sight of a boy jogging across the field, his backpack swinging haphazardly against his side. Taichi smiles upon recognizing his teammate and underclassman. Masami Ryo is a year younger than Tai, has short, spiky black hair, and has an enthusiasm for football that rivals his own. The kid is a decent midfielder and he is fairly certain will begin playing in the starting lineup next season.

“Morning, Ryo,” Tai greets him when the youth is a few steps away. “How’s it going?”

Ryo’s chest heaves slightly as he replies and Taichi notes mentally to up his underclassman’s running regiment to increase his stamina. “I’m well, Senpai. Are you putting in a little extra practice for next week’s game?”

“You bet!” he says and starts across the field towards the high school. “We’re going to really give Kaisei a run for their money.”

Ryo follows alongside him, hands fiddling nervously with the clasp of his bag. “Everyone’s pretty excited to play Kaisei. It’s the first time Odaiba has ever gotten into the playoffs.”

“It’s because we have a really great team this year.” Taichi grins as he elbows the shorter boy in the ribs.

A faint blush reddens Ryo’s cheeks as he stammers his reply. “It’s...I’m not that...” Ryo snaps his mouth shut at Taichi’s pointed look and says instead, “I really think it’s because you’re such a great captain, Senpai.”

Taichi scrunches his nose up in response, scratching the side of his head thoughtfully. “Huh. Nah, I think you guys are just really on your game this season.”

“Only because you play so well, Senpai!” Ryo blurts out before staring pointedly at his shoes in embarrassment. Both have stopped their trek to the school at some point and are unaware of their other classmates walking around them. “You really inspire us to do our best.”

Taichi stares at Ryo contemplatively, some of the heaviness he felt yesterday shedding away upon hearing the other’s words.

Ryo lifts his eyes when a hand falls atop his shoulder. His breath catches at the intense look his Senpai is directing at him. He feels inexplicably pleased when Taichi thanks him as if what he’s said is something Senpai has never heard before, which couldn’t be true because Senpai _is_ an amazing player— ** _is_** an amazing friend.

Taichi pats the other’s shoulder once more before tilting his head towards the gym. “Hey, I gotta go shower so I’ll see you later at practice. I can’t be going to class smelling like this,” he says, lifting his soaked jersey off his chest. “My teacher would have a fit not to mention my classmates.”

Ryo nods. “Sure. I’ll see you later, Senpai!” He watches Taichi jog off, is about to walk up the stairs to Odaiba High, when he finds himself shouting, “We’ll win, Senpai!” Predictably, he turns quite a few heads in his direction, including Taichi’s. “With you as captain, we’ll win for sure!”

Taichi grins, unable to understand what’s gotten into the normally shy teen all of a sudden. “Whatever you say, Ryo!” Taichi hollers back, before continuing on his way.

Ryo beams and walks up the school’s stairs ready to face the day.

oOo

It’s the first period of the day and the one class Taichi dreads the most. Math was never his strong point and it seems calculus is the end all of all mathematics. He just can’t figure it out. He doesn’t understand limits, has less of a clue of what differentiation is, and the recently graded quiz his teacher just passed out proves this. Hands gripping the sides of his head, he wills the D+ to change and only manages to suppress a groan when it doesn’t. He lets his forehead fall on to his desk with a light thump, drawing a few sympathetic glances his way and even more perplexed ones from the remainder of the class who don’t know him. Mercifully enough the bell rings shortly after and he grabs his things and prepares to leave for his next class.

He’s walking past his teacher’s desk when his teacher addresses him.

“Taichi? May I speak to you for a moment?”

“Eh? Oh, sure, Ms. Hanada.” He walks a few paces back and waits patiently beside her desk. She only begins to speak when the last student exits the room.

“I’m concerned about your grades in this class, Taichi,” she says, taking her glasses off and placing them on her notebook. She then lifts her eyes and looks directly at her student. “At this rate, I don’t think you’ll be able to pass and...” She pauses, reluctant to speak further, but knows it’s her responsibility as a teacher to do so. “It’s the school’s policy that if a student doesn’t maintain at least a C average in his or her classes, he won’t be able to participate in any sport activities.”

Taichi feels as if the ground has suddenly fallen out from beneath him; the implications of the statement rocking the very core of his being. _She couldn’t...No way could she mean..._

“I’m afraid if you don’t earn at least a B on the next exam this Friday, you won’t be able to play on the football team anymore.”

“But you can’t!” he shouts, forgetting in that split second who he is exactly speaking to and when he does remember, he adjusts his tone accordingly. “You can’t, Ms. Hanada,” he repeats in a more normal level, but no less urgent voice. “The game next week is important. It’s the playoffs. I **_have_ ** to play in it!”

Ms. Hanada knows all too well and sympathizes with him. “I know, Taichi, but it’s the school’s policy. There’s nothing I can do.”

“But—”

“I’m sorry, Taichi, but if you can get a B on the next exam everything will work out.”

Taichi continues to stare, jaw a bit slack and he dimly hears the bell ring, signaling the start of second period, but he can’t bring himself to move.

“Taichi, you’ll be late for your next class.” She quickly scribbles something on her notebook and tears the sheet out to hand to him. “Here’s a pass. You better go,” she says, looking apologetic.

He manages a stiff nod, accepts the scrap of paper, and turns to leave. A B? **_Just_ ** a B. Did she know exactly who she’s talking to, he wonders. There is no way in hell he could ever pull a B out of a calculus test! And in two days? A C maybe if by some miracle, but a B? There was no way...

Taichi slumps against a random locker in the empty hallway and closes his eyes.

The guys are going to kill him.

He doesn’t even want to think about what his father will say.

oOo

Yamato’s ticked and manages to stay that way up until he sees the state Taichi is in when he meets him for lunch. Taichi has his forehead pressed against his locker door and his body is hunched over it. Yamato isn’t sure how his boyfriend is managing to stay upright.

“Hey,” he says, poking the other lightly on the shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

Taichi opens a single eye and closes it just as quickly. “Everything,” he moans out, not moving an inch.

Yamato is a bit taken aback. Taichi is never one to be melodramatic. “Define everything.”

Taichi releases a long, suffering sigh. He then opens his eyes and straightens his back so he can turn the dial on the combination lock to his locker. “I have to get at least a B on my next calc exam or I can’t play in the game next week,” he explains as he deposits some books.

Yamato blinks. _Was that all?_ “Is that all? It’s just one game.”

Yamato notes that Taichi closes his locker carefully—does not slam it like he normally does—and realizes he must have said something extremely wrong when Taichi doesn’t do much but stare at him. He shifts uneasily from one foot to the other.

And then quite suddenly the brunette begins to laugh, and it only makes him more anxious with how humorless it sounds.

Taichi throws up his arms, bag swinging wildly in the air. “Unbelievable. You know what?” he continues, features darkening as he leans his face closer to his, “I forgot I’m still pissed off at you.” And with that he shoves past a stunned Yamato and heads for the cafeteria. He doesn’t get very far.

A hand closes around his left shoulder and pulls him around. “ ** _You’re_** pissed off at **_me_**? For what? You snuck off yesterday without so much as a word to tell me you were leaving!”

Taichi shouts right back. “You weren’t paying much attention to me when I was there, so why the hell do I need to tell you when I’m leaving?!” He is so angry he doesn’t even care that they are arguing in school of all places; he doesn’t bother trying to hide the fact that they are a couple or to think of the consequences doing this might have.

“Taich—Tai,” Yamato hisses, only now noticing the attention they are attracting and is trying to see if he can drag him outside to finish their ‘conversation,’ but Taichi is having none of that.

“Just fuck off!” Taichi hisses back, pulling his arm out of Yamato’s grip. “Go worry about your big concert and I’ll go worry about my little game, all right?” He stalks down the hall, ignores all the stares, and leaves Yamato standing in the middle of the hallway with his eyes wide and mouth agape.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm incredibly sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. RL got in the way. Thank you to all of you who left kudos; it's much appreciated. Please heed the new tag/warning and enjoy!

“Taichi, I didn’t think I had to remind you that as captain you’re to set an example to the members of your team. Under no circumstance does that include being suspended from sports activities due to failing grades.”

Taichi bites back a wince upon hearing the reproach in Coach’s voice. Having arrived at practice only minutes earlier, he is immediately called into the older man’s office. Now he stands in front of Coach Fujiwara’s desk with his hands clasped behind his back. He watches his coach sigh and attempt to rub away the deep furrows lined across his forehead.

“I took a leap of faith with you, Taichi. Not many of my colleagues agreed with my having a second year student as captain, but I knew you were up for the task. Was I wrong?”

Taichi’s hands tremor slightly at Coach Fujiwara’s stare, but he forces them to still. He straightens his back as he answers, “No, Coach. This...I’ll get my grades back up. This isn’t a problem.”

Fujiwara holds Taichi’s determined gaze a while longer before nodding his head once in acquiescence. He doesn’t doubt Taichi’s words, knows he isn’t wrong to have him captaining this year’s team because the teen is a natural born leader and is able to bring the team together with an ease he hasn’t seen in years. Nevertheless, he knows that determination alone isn’t going to get Taichi to pass his exam.

“I’m suspending you from practice for the next two days.”

Taichi’s mouth falls open in shock, and he inhales a breath about to protest, but Fujiwara lifts a hand to stave it off.

“No arguments, Taichi. We need you in next week’s game and if missing a few practices guarantees that you get to play, we’re just going to have to deal with it. Go home. Study,” he stresses the last word.

Taichi clenches his hands into fists behind his back, ignoring how his fingernails dig into his palms as he replies with a simple, “Yes, Sir.”

“All right. Get to it.”

Letting his hands fall to the side, Taichi gives a stiff bow before turning around to exit the room.

“And Taichi.”

Taichi’s hand stills on the doorknob and he swivels his head around until Coach comes back into view.

“If you need any help with studying, we have a few tutors you can use. Just let me know, all right?”

Taichi bristles at the offer, but shakes the feeling off because he knows Coach Fujiwara would have said the same to anyone else and is not just singling him out. “Yes, Sir. Thank you,” he replies, but summarily dismisses the offer. He doesn’t need the help; he can do this. He just needs the time to focus.

Fujiwara nods once more. “See you on Friday, Taichi. We’re counting on you.”

Taichi forces a cocky grin on his face, acknowledges the words with a quick salute before he opens the door and is met with the majority of his team huddled in front of the doorjamb. Taichi lets the door swing shut behind him, eyeing his teammates in amusement as they stumble hastily away from him.

It is mostly the guys in his grade or younger who’s crowded around Coach’s door and who are now trying to act as if they weren’t eavesdropping only seconds earlier. His upperclassmen stand a little further back by the lockers, but are no less interested considering how they are scrutinizing the door—and him—curiously.

“Shouldn’t you all be out on the field?” he asks the group at large, arms crossing over his chest.

“What’s going on Tai?” Hiroshi asks without preamble. Taichi has known the teen with the blue highlights since freshman year of middle school and he is just as direct then as he is now.

“Yeah, what gives?” Takashi pipes in, shouldering past Hiroshi and stepping up to their captain. He met Takashi at a football camp two summers ago, and after some initial rivalry that involved many pranks and a night out stranded in a ravine, they have been friends ever since.

Taichi takes in all the inquisitive stares and knows he isn’t going to be able to hide this from his teammates—not when it directly impacts each and every one of them.

“He’s failing calculus.”

Taichi snaps his head towards the voice. He meets Miike’s blasé stare that challenges him to deny it, as if Tai would. Miike is one of four seniors on the team and the only one who still doesn’t accept Taichi’s role as captain. He makes it a point to remind everyone of this from time to time and despite Taichi’s many attempts to resolve the hard feelings between them, Miike will have none of it.

“I surmise he’s off the team until he raises his grades up,” Miike continues offhandedly, seeming to enjoy the growing horror dawning on everyone’s faces—everyone, but Taichi who stares back at him silently and wonders how the senior found out.

“What?!”

“Taichi, is he serious?”

“Playoffs are next week!”

“We can’t play without you!”

“Taichi!”

“Taichi.”

The firm tone cuts through the cacophony of voices and Taichi immediately shifts his attention away from Miike and to another third year that walks through the crowd to stand in front of him. Touma had mentored him throughout his freshman year here at Odaiba High, did _not_ begrudge him for taking up the role of captain, and was actually the first to congratulate him. Touma doesn’t say anything, but Taichi can read the question in his eyes and he nods grimly. “It’s true,” Taichi says before scanning the room. “I have to get a least a ‘B’ on my next test, or I’m off the team.”

Everyone starts talking over each other once more.

“Why no~w?”

“God, this _sucks_!”

“You gotta pass that test!”

“What the fuck are you still doing here?!” Taichi’s head rattles as Takashi takes it upon himself to grip the brunette’s shoulders and shake him senseless. “Get your ass home and study!”

“ _ **NOW**_!”

Taichi winces at the synchronized bellow, a ball of unease swelling in his stomach as he takes note of all the anxious looks tossed his way. “I’m going, I’m going,” he assures them, removing himself from Takashi’s hold. “Coach actually banned me from practice until this test is done and over with.”

“Good,” Touma says and Taichi shoots him a questioning look. “Just focus on your studies, Taichi,” he says. “Your schoolwork is more important than this game afterall.”

“He should have been doing that from the start,” Miike mutters bitterly, “Some captain he is.”  
Taichi seethes at the words, but averts his eyes swiftly to the floor. He can’t bring himself to be too angry at the senior’s remark though, knowing them to be true.

“ _Nevertheless_ ,” Touma emphasizes, “All we can do now is move forward and get past this, right Taichi?”

Taichi lifts his eyes, meeting everyone’s stares head on. “That’s right.” He takes a step back from his team. “I’m gonna head home now. Jun work on that drag back pass we’ve been talking about. Hiroshi, try and stick to some of Coach’s plays. And Senpai,” this he directs to Touma, “keep everyone in line for me while I’m gone, will you?”

Touma nods. “Didn’t I tell you to just call me, Touma, Taichi?”

Taichi grins innocently. “Yes, you did, Senpai.”

Touma rolls his eyes heavenward. “Just get out of here, Captain.”

Taichi smiles cheekily and waves as he walks out of the locker room; a bevy of shouts trail him as he does.

“Good luck, Taichi-senpai!”

“Don’t let us down, you overgrown tumbleweed!”

“See you Friday!”

Taichi shakes his head wryly, shoulders his backpack, and jogs down the hall and out of school.

oOo

Taichi frowns down at his calculus book unable to make sense of the numbers and letters. He’s been studying for the past three hours and is getting nowhere. He scowls, throwing down his pencil and leaning back against his chair. _Why was this so hard?_ He squeezes his eyes shut attempting to stave off the headache that begins creeping across his temples.

There’s a knock on his door and he opens his eyes with a sigh. “Come in.”

The door opens to reveal his sister. As Hikari steps into his room, he sees she’s still sporting her school uniform, which means she must have only just gotten home. Hikari never liked being in her uniform longer than she needed to be. “Phone,” she says, cheerful as always. “It’s Yamato.”

Taichi grimaces at the mention of his boyfriend’s name. He rubs tight circles over his right temple while he uses his other hand to motion for her to give him the phone. Hikari does just that and watches as her brother presses the off button before handing the cordless back to her. She looks at it for a moment before returning her attention to her brother.

“Did you two have a fight?” she ventures a guess, her lips twitching into a smile. Her brother and Yamato were so cute sometimes.

“Mm.” Taichi mutters, leaning forward onto his desk again and begins scribbling some more in his notebook.

“Was it bad?” she teases, stretching out the one syllable word and just barely suppresses a giggle.

Her brother makes another noncommittal sound, resting his chin against the palm of his left hand.

“What—”

Taichi sighs and begins to rub his temples again. “Hikari, I really don’t feel up to talking about it and I really gotta study.”

Hikari feels her smile slip away. “Oh. Okay, Onii-chan. Sorry.” She stands there for a few beats, a loss for words when the phone suddenly rings and makes her jump. Sheepishly, she answers it. “Yagami residence.” She glances up and meets her brother’s eyes. Taichi wordlessly shakes his head.

“Um, I’m sorry Yamato, but Onii-chan’s studying, so he can’t come to the phone right now. Mm. Aa, I’ll tell him. Mm. Bye.”

Taichi flashes her a grateful smile. “Thanks, Hikari.”

Hikari nods. “Don’t mention it.” She pauses, takes in the slump in his shoulders and the mess on his desk. “Are you okay, Onii-chan?”

“Yeah,” he’s quick to reply, turning to look at his textbook and sweeping his hand across it, “Just all these numbers are frying my brain; you know how it is.”

Hikari knows, yet still feels uneasy. She knows something has been bothering her brother since the previous night, but he stubbornly refused to reveal anything to her when she asked. Eventually though, she lets the feeling pass; it’s her Onii-chan after all, and she knows he will be all right. He always is.

“Okay. Good luck and try not to think _too_ hard, Onii-chan. You might do some permanent damage,” she can’t help but add teasingly.

“Ha-Ha.”

Hikari beams upon seeing her brother’s smile and backs out of the room. She closes the door behind her as she leaves.

oOo

For the next forty-eight hours Taichi studies as if he is possessed, ignoring everything, (which mostly consists of Yamato’s phone calls) but finds he is not one step closer to understanding anything. Tomorrow is the exam and he is, for the lack of a better word, doomed.

“Taichi! Dinner!”

_Food...yeah_ , he thinks in a slight daze as he pushes his chair back from his desk and leaves his room. _Maybe that would get the brain juices flowing._ He could only hope.

When he enters the room, he sees his father is already seated at the table, while Hikari is helping their mother place bowls of rice at each place setting. He sits down at the table just as his sister does and bops her on the head.

“Hey! What was that for?” Hikari exclaims, face filled with indignation and the expression lifts Taichi’s mood up considerably.

“Oh, just felt like giving my cute little sister a love pat.”

Hikari shakes her fist menacingly. “I’ll give you a love—”

“Kids, not at the dinner table,” his mother warns as she takes her place at the table and gives her husband a look when she catches him chuckling on the side.

The elder Yagami coughs once into his hand. “Uh, it looks delicious, dear. Let’s eat.”

Hikari is sure to give her brother a swift kick just as he is about to take some chicken katsu and watches with satisfaction when he drops the piece on the table. “Onii- _chan_ when are you going to learn to use your chopsticks?” she teases, as she places a piece of celery into her mouth.

Before he can retaliate, his mother shoots him a look that makes him think twice, and he plasters an angelic smile onto his face. “Oh, one of these days, _nee_ -chan. Don’t you worry your _little_ head about it.”

Hikari sticks her tongue out at him. Taichi returns the gesture. Their mother rolls her eyes, but can’t help but smile at their antics.

“So, Son, you’ve been awfully quiet these past few days. What’s going on?”

Taichi almost chokes on his rice, but manages to swallow it with the help of some tea. He hasn’t dared to tell his parents about the test and just how important it is. They would kill him if they knew he was failing calculus or any class for that matter. It would only fuel their point about him quitting football. “Uh, well, you know. I have a test tomorrow and I really want to do well on it. So, I’ve been...um...studying.” He braves a quick glance up and sees his father blink at him once before he begins to smile and nod his head approvingly.

“Now that’s what I like to hear, Tai. Your mother said you’ve been coming home early. I’m glad you finally see how important your education is over football.”

Taichi bites back a frustrated sigh. “I know school is important, Dad; I never said it wasn’t, but football’s important to me too.”

“Yes, well I’m just glad you’ve put your priorities straight,” his father presses on, face bright. “I’m proud of you, Taichi.”

Taichi entire body stiffens upon hearing the words. Yet, no one seems to notice as he continues to sit and stare at his father.

His father was proud of him.

He doesn’t know why those particular words make him feel so anxious. He remembers hearing them every once in a while when he was younger. Often times it was because of football that he received such praise as there was not much else he excelled in; however, football clearly isn’t something that will make his father proud of him anymore, but did he really need his father to be proud of him?

Of course he did. Every kid wants their parents to be proud of them, but he doesn’t realize until now just how much he wants to hear the words; how much of a drug the small praise could be; and how much he _misses_ hearing it.

“Tai?”

“Huh?” He starts, glancing up from his rice to see his mother’s questioning gaze.

“Are you all right?” she asks, drawing the attention of the remainder of the family on him. “You’ve just been sitting there staring at your bowl. Are you feeling well?”

“Oh—Yeah!” he is quick to reassure her, a smile automatically spreading across his face. “I was just remembering something about my test tomorrow.” He shrugs his shoulders, laughing a little. “I guess I’m a little worried.” Which is probably the understatement of the century, but it serves its purpose.

His mother doesn’t probe any further; instead assuring him he will do fine as long as he tries his best. He nods once in reply, repeating the action again after hearing similar words of encouragement from both his sister and father. All the while an uncomfortable feeling wells up in the pit of his stomach and he discovers quite suddenly that he has lost his appetite, a feat that doesn’t happen very often, if ever.

He quickly finishes his rice and excuses himself from the table. He closes his bedroom door and sits back at his desk. He picks up his pencil and stares down at his textbook. Yet, rather than the numbers before him, he can’t see past how much is riding on this test.

His head starts to pound dully once more, and the weight he feels on his shoulders only seems to grow heavier.

oOo

He doesn’t want their help.

He can do it on his own with WarGreymon. The other digimon aren’t as strong as his. It’s up to him; _he_ is the leader. He can’t afford to let anyone else get hurt, especially Hikari. She’s only eight; his parents told him to look after her and he’s already let her down once. He isn’t about to do that again, but...

WarGreymon is losing. Piemon is too strong and his digimon is getting hurt. And it’s his fault. He looks around the battlefield, but he’s alone. It isn’t supposed to happen this way. Where’s Yamato? He’s supposed to come, supposed to help him.

But he pushed him away, didn’t he? He was mad and Yamato was being a jerk, so he told him to go away. But that was only a few days ago...Yamato is supposed to come and help him fight Piemon. That’s what happened...right? They fought Piemon together with the other Chosen. They beat the Dark Masters, but

Where _was_ everybody?

His eyes desperately dart around the area, but no one is here. Not even WarGreymon.

He’s alone.

Panic blossoms in his chest as Piemon approaches slowly, a manic look in his eyes and a cruel smile on his red painted lips. For each step he takes, Piemon takes another until he’s backed himself against a wall that wasn’t there before. There is nowhere to run; he’s trapped with the darkness pressing in from all sides. He feels for his digivice, for his crest, but can’t find either.

He can’t find his courage.

Piemon looms above him, his smile wide and menacing and he laughs loudly and viciously, making Taichi cower with his hands above his head.

“This is the end.”

Gloved fingers reach down and take hold of his shoulders, squeezing and crushing them.

Taichi can’t even find enough breath to scream.

oOo

Taichi wakes with a start, his breath rapid, eyes wide and looks wildly about. Instead of black, he sees blue painted walls, his bed resting against the corner of the room, and his messy closet on the opposite side. Recognition slowly sets in and he realizes he is in his bedroom, sitting at his desk. He wipes a shaking hand across his face. He must have fallen asleep.

“Taichi?”

He startles violently at the voice and turns until he sees his mother standing just beside him. He hadn’t seen her there before. The sight of her, the mere reassurance she is supposed to bring doesn’t come and he realizes his hands won’t stop shaking.

His mother kneels beside his chair, a concerned look on her face, and places a hand over his trembling one. “It was only a dream, honey.”

Tai gives a jerky nod, clenching his hands into fists and gives a shallow laugh. “Yeah...Just a dream.” His voice is as steady as his hands and he closes his eyes in an attempt to regain his composure, but the flash of yellow eyes makes him open them again. He shakes his head, trying to push the nightmare away and pulls his hand out of his mom’s to run it through his hair. “What time is it?”

“Six thirty. I was coming to wake you up and—”

Taichi nods and then does a double take. “Six thirty? In the morning?” he stresses the last few words.

“Yes...?”

Taichi shifts his attention to his books, sees the drool marks, and curses. _Shit_! He fell asleep while he was studying. He isn’t ready for the test yet.

“Tai, you don’t look well.” In fact, he is far too pale for Yuuko’s liking. “You can stay home today if you want.”

Taichi frantically shakes his head from side to side. Frantic is definitely the correct word to describe what he is feeling now. “Can’t. I have that test today.”

“I’m sure your teacher would let you make it up,” she reasons. “There’s no point in making yourself sick when—”

“I’m fine, Mom,” he says, pushing back his chair and starts to run about his room getting ready for school. His mother watches as he does so, worry lines creasing her forehead.

“Tai...”

Taichi turns around to face his mom, a familiar lopsided grin on his face, though it is a bit strained. “Really, Mom, I’m fine. Do you think you can make me some breakfast, so I can get to school early?”

“Of course, Tai, but—”

“Thanks!”

She watches him dash out of the room and can’t do much else than what he’s asked.

oOo

_He-isn’t-ready-He-isn’t-ready-He-isn’t-ready-He-isn’t-ready..._

The litany continues in an endless loop in his head and only stops when the test is placed in front of him. Actually, his mind goes completely blank at that precise moment and panic follows soon after. He can’t remember a single thing he’s studied in the last few days. He vaguely recalls something about the multiplication rule and limit laws, but nothing sticks. The only things he _can_ remember are all the reasons why he has to pass this test.

He tells himself to calm down, to take a few deep breaths, and that everything is going to be fine. Everything always works out; he just has to keep his head straight.

Unfortunately, it isn’t working. He can’t _think_.

He’s certain, as he walks out of the classroom an hour later, that he’s lost any chance of bringing Odaiba to Nationals.

oOo

Yamato is not the best with apologies. Frankly, his pride gets in the way before he can actually make one, but he learns that when he is wrong (and making an ass of himself) an apology can do wonders in redeeming himself.

Sora had made it a point in teaching him that lesson over the last twenty-four hours and who is he to say his ex-girlfriend is wrong, especially while she’s wielding a spade right beneath his nose?

Girls can be such a pain. It’s no wonder he strayed from the straight path.

But truthfully, he is the one at fault. He has been ignoring Taichi for the past few weeks, his mind preoccupied with the concert his band is having next Saturday that could possibly jump-start the Teenage Wolves’ music career. It’s important to him, but Taichi is too. The brunette is ordinarily so easygoing. So much so that he usually doesn’t know he’s doing anything wrong until Taichi has to shout it in his ear. If he actually thinks about it, he often takes advantage of that fact, which is all the more reason why he is seeking Tai out right now to apologize.

He finds his boyfriend in much the same position as when he last saw him: forehead resting on his locker door, body sagged against it. He walks up to him, steeling himself up for the glare he’s due, but Tai doesn’t appear to have noticed him. He prods his shoulder, feeling an odd sense of déjà vu wash over him. He clears his already dry throat. “Hey.”

He watches as Taichi rolls his head to the side to face him and is a bit worried seeing how tired the other looks. All previous nervousness disappears in that instant and he bends his head forward putting their faces closer together. “Tai?”

Tai blinks, seeming to come out of his daze and straightens until he is upright. Yamato does the same and is somewhat surprised when Taichi closes the remaining space between them and leans his forehead on his shoulder.

“Tai?” he questions again, quickly glancing around and only after seeing that the hall is practically empty, places a hand atop his boyfriend’s mass of hair and begins to stroke the strands back and forth. It isn’t that he’s ashamed of their relationship, but both agreed that they weren’t ready to make it public.

“Tai, what happened?”

Time seems to stop for Taichi, his mind focused solely on the soothing feeling Yamato is producing by just being so near. But the moment Yamato’s question penetrates his mind, time resumes its fast pace, reminding him of all that’s happened and what it means. He inhales a shaky breath.

“I...I failed the test,” he mumbles into Yamato’s blazer, stating the words out loud for the first time and carving it into reality. “I completely _bombed_ it.”

Yamato doesn’t know what to say; only after speaking with Sora does he understand how important the game next week is for Taichi and how this test relates. “You sure? You haven’t even gotten it back yet. There’s still a chance—”

Taichi snorts, pulling away from him and stumbles back a few steps. He wipes a tired hand across his eyes. “I don’t need to see it,” he spits the words out, his voice growing hoarse. “I couldn’t remember one damn thing and now, now it’s _over_.” He let everyone down. All he had to do was pass this test. It was that simple, but why couldn’t he even do that?

Yamato closes the distance between them in two hurried steps. “Tai, I’m sure if you explained it to your teacher, she could let you take a make up or something. It’ll work out. You won’t have to miss the game.”

Taichi violently shakes his head, unable to lift his eyes from the ground and from Yamato’s white shoes. “No, it’s too _late_. She’d never let me. The guys—coach is going to _kill_ me! And Dad will never let me play again if he finds out I’m failing. I can’t—I can’t—”

He can’t breathe.

His throat feels as if it’s the size of those tiny coffee straws, only allowing him short gasps of air. His heart is suddenly pounding like crazy and he can’t breathe.

Yamato grows more alarmed by the second at the state Tai is in and reaches a hand out again to the distressed brunette. “Tai, you need to calm down.”

He can’t. His chest hurts and his hand fists the fabric above his heart while the other reaches out blindly to latch onto Yamato. Yamato meets him halfway as Taichi all but collapses on him when for the briefest of seconds the world tilts. It makes him dizzy.

_Hey there,_ Captain _Yagami._

_Aw, shut up...it does have a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?_

_*a laugh* Whatever you say, Tai._

_Taichi, you need to study more. Football isn’t a future._

_I know that, Dad._

_Then why do you insist on spending so much time on it? I’m not paying your tuition just so you can play a_ game _. It’s a waste—_

_It’s not a waste of time! You, You just don’t understand, Dad._

“ _We’ll win, Senpai! With you as captain, we’ll win for sure!”_

_I was hoping I could come see the game._

_Don’t let us down, Taichi._

_I’m proud of you, Taichi._

_We’re counting on you._

“Tai!” The sound seems so far away now, buried beneath an onslaught of thoughts and this overwhelming and all encompassing fear that he can’t run from. It feels like he’s _dying_ and he’s so _scared_.

He isn’t sure how much time has passed when his heart doesn’t feel like it’s going to beat right out of his chest anymore. All he knows is that he’s now kneeling on the floor, hands clenched tightly to Yamato’s blazer, forehead pressed to his shoulder. His breathing has slowed and he realizes at that moment that he _can_ actually breathe. He’s still shaking though and he can’t seem to stop. What was wrong with him?

“Taichi.”

He lifts his forehead slowly off of Yamato’s shoulder, turns his head towards the voice, and sees the school nurse, Mr. Hamada, kneeling beside him on the floor. The older man sports a concerned look on his face, but is projecting a calmness that Taichi wishes he felt. Taichi’s eyes wander past the man and to his surroundings. He sees a group of students hovering nearby whispering and his breath hitches in his throat.

Fingers snap once in front of him immediately catching his attention. “Hey. Focus here, Taichi,” Mr. Hamada says and he obeys automatically. “Good. Now, just take a few more deep breathes okay? You’re fine. Everything is fine. All right?”

Taichi does as he’s told, still surprised that he actually _can_ , and inhales one breath after another until he can do so without it catching in his throat.

“Good. That’s good, Taichi. Now let’s get off this cold floor, hm?”

It takes a moment for the words to register, but Taichi eventually bobs his head once in agreement. He then realizes he’ll have to let Yamato go to do so and freezes.

“Tai, it’s okay,” Yamato soothes, hands still braced on his arms. “I got you.” Taichi nods and with Yamato’s help, he’s up on his feet. Standing there, he feels unsteady. Unsure. And extremely embarrassed.

“Tai?” He’s given a little shake and he blinks up to see that they’re waiting for him to say something, but he doesn’t know what. He also sees that no one else is in the hallway anymore save for them three.

“Come on, Taichi,” Mr. Hamada says kindly, gesturing down the hall. “Let’s go to my office. I would like to make sure you’re okay.”

Taichi nods wordlessly and starts down the hall with Mr. Hamada to his left and Yamato to his right.

If he leans a little more into Yamato along the way, Yamato doesn’t say a word, just holds his hand in a steady and reassuring grip the entire way.

oOo


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't express how truly sorry I am for how long it took to publish this chapter. RL has been _insane_. This is unbetaed and has been rewritten numerous times that I can't look at it anymore. Thanks to all of you who have commented or left kudos. Knowing people were still looking forward to the next chapter really pushed me to get this out. I hope you all enjoy it!

An anxiety attack. Also known as a panic attack. Cause: Stress.

Taichi would never have guessed he’d have one; it seemed more like Jyou’s forte.

Taichi flexes his fingers idly around his Agumon plush, back resting against his bedroom wall and legs stretched out in front of him. His mom left his room only a short while ago. Prior to that, she fluttered about his room restlessly, muttering to herself that she should have never let him go to school today. Any attempt on Tai’s part to assuage her only made her more upset, which in turn caused an unsettling pressure to build upon his chest. Somehow sensing this, his mom shuffled him onto his bed and told him under no uncertain terms was he to do anything else but rest.

Taichi frowns, fingers tightening around Agumon’s middle as his thoughts circle back to what happened at school.

It was embarrassing. Freaking out in the hallway like that and over a test of all things. He wonders when he started losing a grip on everything. He’s Yagami Taichi after all. Past leader of the Digidestined; holder of the Crest of Courage; football player extraordinaire. He lives a carefree life, never lets things get him down, and never ever gives up without a fight.

His mouth twist into a bitter smile.

That was him all right. Sure.

He wonders if it was odd to get tired of being yourself.

There’s a hesitant knock on his door before the doorknob slowly turns. Hikari sneaks a peek into his room and starts a bit at seeing him awake. “I wasn’t sure if you were awake,” she says, pushing his door open fully before closing it behind her back. “Mom told me what happened.” Her voice is tentative, one hand still holding on to the doorknob. “How are you feeling?”

Taichi gives a brief shrug not meeting her eyes. “Fine. A bit embarrassed.” He can admit it to her, knows she won’t hold it against him.

“For what?” she exclaims, and it almost makes him smile. “There’s no reason to be,” this she says as she makes her way across the room and settles herself beside him. She nudges her shoulder against his. “You shouldn’t push yourself so hard, Onii-chan.” Her words aren’t reproachful, but spoken as if they are simple fact.

He inclines his head slightly in acknowledgment, still playing with the plush he held. He wishes it really is that simple.

Hikari makes an exasperated sound and slides her body away from her brother. She picks up his pillow and lays it across her lap before dragging his head down on to it.

His arms propel outward with the sudden movement and Agumon is tossed into the air and onto the floor as a result. “Gack! Kari! What are you—?”

“Shush,” she says, patting his head once. “Now straighten out your legs or your back is going to kill you later.”

Taichi huffs in protest, but hearing that tone in her voice, he does as he’s instructed.

Hikari smiles and then pats his head again. “Better. Goo~d doggy.” She giggles as he struggles to sit up again and she holds his head down. “Stop, stop. I was only kidding.”

Taichi blows out a frustrated breath, shifts his head and tries to catch a glimpse of his sister’s face. “What exactly are you doing, Kari?” he asks plainly.

Hikari doesn’t answer right away, taking a moment to really scrutinize her brother. She notes the dark circles beneath his eyes and how even his hair looks limp and tired. She’s actually rather upset at herself for not noticing something was out of sorts with her big brother. Tai always tried so hard to be there for her whenever she needed him. He always looked out for her and never let her down. She can’t help but feel like she’s failed him somehow.

“Hey, stop thinking so hard.”

Hikari blinks back to herself when Taichi taps her once on the nose with his forefinger. She shakes her head ruefully. Even now, he’s worrying about her when it really should be the other way around.

“Just lean on me for a while, Onii-chan,” she finally says. “I guess that’s all I wanted to say.”

The expression on Hikari’s face is grim but determined as she delivers this message, and the gesture warms Taichi’s heart. He allows his body to relax and his eyes to fall away from her face. There’s still a million thoughts racing through his head, but his sister always had a knack for saying the right thing to make him feel even a little bit better.

They both sit quietly for a few minutes. The silence is not the least bit uncomfortable, but filled with a mutual understanding attained only through the experience of being in close contact with someone for the length of time as siblings are inclined to be.

“I’m still your big brother, you know.” Taichi feels the need to point out, and Hikari huffs out a quiet laugh.

“Of course you are, Onii-chan.”

“And you can always come to me; it’s what I’m here for.”

“I know, Onii-chan.”

“And it doesn’t mean I can’t pick on you anymore. It’s a big brother’s responsibility.”

“Uh huh, but don’t think I’ll just sit there and let you.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to.”

“As long as you understand that, then everything’s peachy.”

“Mm.”

“Mm.”

Silence stretches for a moment.

“...Kari?”

“Hm?”

“Thanks.”

Hikari smiles.

“Don’t mention it, Onii-chan.”

oOo

He dimly hears voices around him, all hushed, but the closer he comes to consciousness, the more distinct they become. The voices finally pulls him out of his slumber and he blinks his eyes open. His vision is blurry at first, and Tai groggily rubs his eyes with his hands until they clear. He notices first that his head is now resting against his pillow and second that the source of the noise is coming from the far corner of his room. His eyes drift in that direction to see his sister and Yamato whispering by his bedroom door.

“He wouldn’t mind seeing you.”

“I don’t want to wake him up though.”

“Too late.”

They both turn to him in surprise as he lifts his head off his pillow and yawns into his hand. The room becomes utterly silent and it takes a few beats before Taichi notices this and the attention. “What?” he asks a bit irritably. Waking up after naps always puts him in a cranky mood.

Hikari turns away first, stifling giggles behind her hand, while Yamato tries and is utterly failing to keep a straight face.

“What?” he repeats. “Is something on my face?” He begins to wipe his cheek and the motion swings something into his line of vision. A braid to be exact. Actually, multiple braids.

“Kari!” he shouts as he reaches up and grabs his hair, confirming that it is indeed twisted into multiple small plaits. He jumps out of his bed intent on hurting the person who messed with The Hair.

Hikari beats a hasty retreat, laughing all the way, which leaves Yamato with the task of calming his boyfriend down. “Tai— _Tai_. We’ll get her back later, okay?” he reasons, holding him back.

Taichi scowls, but grudgingly agrees. “Just help me get these damn things out of my hair.” He stomps back to his bed and sits down, hands already trying to untangle his hair. “And while you’re at it, wipe that stupid grin off your face!”

Yamato does so quick smart. He’s about to sit down when he notices Agumon on the floor. He picks him up and deposits him onto Taichi’s lap before joining his irritated boyfriend on his bed. Yamato brushes the other’s hands away as they are doing more harm than good. He then slowly, but carefully begins to take apart the braids. Taichi sits still for once; he always likes it when Yamato touches his hair. It feels nice.

“So...are you feeling better?” Yamato asks after a few minutes. “You didn’t say much after...” he trails off, uncertain how to continue. He clears his throat. “I was worried,” he finally settles on.

Taichi’s cheeks flare at the reminder of what happened earlier today. He fidgets uncomfortably. “Sorry about that,” he mumbles.

Yamato’s forehead crinkles in response. “What’s there to apologize for?”

Taichi shrugs, hugging Agumon to his chest. “For freaking you out I guess.”

“Well, there was that,” Yamato muses as he untangles a particularly complicated knot. “But you still didn’t answer my question.”

“Hmm and what’s that?”

Yamato momentarily stops fixing Tai’s hair and lets his hands fall to his side. “I asked if you were feeling better.”

“I feel fine,” Tai replies without hesitation. “I got to sleep a while and it seemed to do the trick.”

Tai’s response is quick and deliberate and Yamato has a hard time believing he’s telling the truth. Still, he refrains from calling Tai out on it, not wanting to upset him so soon.

“Don’t you have practice?” Tai continues, wanting to steer the conversation away from what happened at school.

“Oh. Yeah...about that...”

The awkwardness that seeps into his boyfriend’s voice makes Taichi face the other directly for the first time. Yamato is only ever timid when he’s doing something he’s uncomfortable with or unused to doing. So, of course this piques Tai’s curiosity.

“I wanted to...apologize about ignoring you these past few weeks. I was too caught up with that concert and didn’t think much about anything else besides that. But those are just excuses and you don’t deserve that.” Yamato takes in a deep breath, expelling the air slowly. He lifts his eyes to meet Tai’s. “I’m sorry. I was being an ass.”

“Yeah,” Taichi agrees after a beat, voice deadpanned. “You were. A huge one,” he adds, gesturing his hands in wide arcs.

Yamato winces. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“You should be.”

“I _**am**_.”

“Well, good.” Having nothing else to say Taichi turns away, looking down at Agumon again before setting him aside along the wall.

“So...” Yamato looks expectantly at his Tai’s back. “Are you going to forgive me?”

“No,” is Tai’s immediate answer, his attention still fixed away from him.

Yamato visibly deflates. Well, he supposes it is wishful thinking on his part to think Tai will forgive him so easily. “Oh. Well, yeah, I guess you wouldn’t—well, not that you _wouldn’t_ , though I’m not saying you’re a grudge holder—no wait, I meant you probably wouldn’t forgive me immediately, but...” Yamato trails off when he notices how Taichi’s back is trembling every so often.

Yamato’s eyes narrow. “Are you laughing?”

Taichi’s snort is all the confirmation he needs, though Tai doesn’t seem to think so because he falls back on his bed and begins laughing out loud. “You-You—” is all Taichi can manage as he rolls on his bed, hands held to his stomach.

Although he feels a spark of annoyance at the other, the relief he feels at seeing Tai regain some sense of normalcy outweighs everything else at the moment. He mildly shakes his head, his lips quirked up in a half smile. “Thanks, Tai. See if I ever apologize to you again, you jerk.”

“Hair freak.”

“Overgrown bush.”

“Hey!” Tai grins. “Tone deaf.”

“Football for brains.”

The mirth that previously graced Tai’s face smooths out almost instantly. Yamato regrets the words just as quickly. “Tai...”

Taichi shrugs off the hand that reaches out to him, a ghost of a smile on his face. “Nah, it’s cool.” He reaches for his pillow, covers his face, and screams into it.

“Argh!” he moans, pulling the pillow away and rolling over so he’s facing the wall. “I can’t believe this happened! Couldn’t she have stopped me after the season was over?” he huffs out in frustration.

“Well, that would defeat the purpose of the rule—sorry, sorry! Not helping,” Yamato backpedals immediately upon catching the glare Taichi throws at him. He runs a tired hand across his eyes before he begins to massage his temples. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I thought that’s what we were doing.”

Yamato sighs. “Tai, what’s really bothering you?”

Taichi twists around, clearly annoyed. “This _**is**_ bothering me.”

“Fine, fine,” Yamato relents. “I only meant...I know there’s more going on here. Come on. Talk to me,” he pleads. Because there _**is**_ something more—Yamato knows it. Tai hasn’t been acting like himself lately. He grew quiet frequently and zoned out more often than usual. Whenever he called him out on it, Tai would literally shake himself out of it, stretching a wide smile across his face that wasn’t always a hundred percent sincere and tried to act as if everything was okay. Yamato never questioned him further, leaving it up to Tai to speak up when he wanted to. In retrospect, he should have pushed because maybe they wouldn’t be here right now if he did.

For some time, it doesn’t seem like Tai is going to say anything, but then his shoulders slump and he rolls away to face the wall again. Yamato pulls his socked feet onto the bed and waits for him to speak.

Taichi’s presses his lips together in a thin line, not really knowing where to begin. Yet, when he opens his mouth, words start pouring out without him having to think too much about them.

“Dad’s been hounding me lately about school and football and college and my future; about how I can’t be focusing so much attention on football anymore. I need to study more. What am I going to do...all the practices we’ve been putting in for this game, how important this game is...” Tai presses the heels of his hands into his eyes, his back now lying flat on his bed. “And then this whole test thing and failing calculus and...and...”

“Me?” Yamato asks, and Taichi peers through his fingers to look at him before nodding once.

“Yeah.” The edges of his lips twitch downward. “You.” He draws in a deep breath and expels a loud sigh. “I guess it just got to me, I dunno. It’s stupid— _ **I**_ feel stupid.” He shakes his head and gnaws at his bottom lip. “I shouldn’t have let it go so far; I—it’s not like me.”

“It’s _**normal**_ , Tai. There’s been a lot of pressure on everyone considering this is our second year,” Yamato is fast to point out, but it only makes Tai frown.

“So, you’re saying unlike everyone else who is dealing with it, I’m obviously the only idiot who can’t? Thanks, Yamato. Thanks a lot.”

“That is _**not**_ what I meant,” Yamato argues. “All I’m saying is that you’re allowed to feel stressed; no one expects you to be invincible. Also, you shouldn’t feel stupid about what happened,” he adds not liking the way Tai is putting himself down.

“Yeah, well, I can’t help feeling this way because this is something I should have been able to handle. It’s just...it’s _**school**_. I can handle being dropped into a friggin’ digital world with digital monsters and I can’t even pass a math test? A _**math**_ test, Yamato. What else am I supposed to be other than stupid!” Taichi’s voice grows and grows in volume until he’s practically shouting at the end. His hands are clenched into fists and his eyes dart to the other daring him to argue.

Yamato doesn’t disappoint, and he blurts out the first thought that comes to mind. “Tai, all this self pity crap is ridiculous.”

“Yeah, well, considering the many times I’ve had to sit through the binges you’ve had over the years, I think I’m allowed,” Taichi snaps back.

With the silence that follows, Taichi is sure Yamato will leave and waits for the weight to leave his bed.

Yamato doesn’t move though. Instead, he opts to count silently to ten in his head before he speaks again.

“Okay. You’re angry. I get that. So I’m not going to take that personally,” Yamato says with as much restraint as he can muster. “I just. I don’t like seeing you like this, Tai," he admits, voice both sincere and firm.

Taichi scrubs his hand across his eyes, stubbornly looking off to the side.

“I’m sorry,” he says after a while, reaching his hand out to grasp his. “I didn’t mean that.”

Yamato squeezes his hand—his way of accepting the other’s apology—and takes a second to really look at his boyfriend.

Tai is still not looking at him directly, eyes fixated to a spot on his blue wall. His mouth appears permanently downturn and his right hand is restlessly clenching and unclenching his bedsheets. Yamato’s never seen him look so unhappy before, and he can’t help but feel how wrong that is. He doesn’t know what he can say to dispel that gloom, but tries anyway.

“Everything will be all right, Tai.” He places his hand on top of Tai’s shoulder, squeezing it once. “I know it will.”

The words make Taichi’s throat close up. He presses his face more deeply into his mattress and attempts to ignore the burning sensation behind his eyes. “Yeah,” he breathes out shakily. “Sure.”

oOo

Yamato stays for a little while after that. He untangles the rest of Tai’s hair and prods him to talk more, but Tai is having none of that—too afraid he’ll say more than he means to and embarrass or upset himself (or Yamato) further. So, instead, he tugs Yamato’s arm until the other takes the hint and lies down beside him and arranges it so he’s half lying on top of the other. Yamato takes the manhandling in stride and stays until the last possible moment that would still allow him time to go home and prepare dinner for his father.

It’s when Yamato’s about to leave that Tai realizes he doesn’t want him to actually go. It’s unusual for him to feel needy. He doesn’t like leaving himself open like that. So, he pushes the foreign feeling down and shoos Yamato out when he hesitates at the door. Yamato frowns before quickly closing the distance between them, kisses him hard and fast, and promises that he’ll call him later. The uneasy feeling in his stomach settles, and Tai kisses Yamato one last time before shoving him toward the door. This time Yamato goes willingly, and Tai is once again left on his own.

He’s back to lying on his bed, arms stretched out on either side of his body. He has no inclination of moving from his position despite having spent the entire afternoon there.

He thinks he dozes for a bit because when he next opens his eyes, the room is considerably darker. He rubs his eyes to clear the gunk that’s built up there before rolling off the edge of his bed. He shuffles his way to the door intending to go to the bathroom, but when he opens the door, he’s surprised to see his father standing outside, hand poised to knock on his forehead.

Susumu Yagami lowers his hand and brings it around to the back of his neck, rubbing it nervously. It’s apparent where Tai has picked up the habit.

“Tai. I…I was coming to see how you were doing. Your mother called me at the office and explained what happened. I’m sorry I couldn’t come home sooner to see you.”

Tai scratches his head, not used to being apologized to by his father; it’s usually the other way around. “Oh, that’s okay, Dad. I feel fine.” He slaps a hand across his chest, a smile on his face. “See.” He is hoping to crack a smile out of the older man, but doesn’t even manage a twitch. If anything, his dad looks more grim.

“Can I talk to you for a minute, Taichi?”

Tai nods uncertainly, warning bells ringing loudly in his head at being addressed by his full name; it always indicates when he’s in some sort of trouble. “Sure, Dad.”

He steps back and pulls the door open wider to let him in. Once inside, his father takes a seat on the bed and motions for Tai to join him. Tai does so despite his nervousness and keeps his eyes downcast.

“Tai, I wanted to apologize.”

His head snaps up at the words to see regret fill his father’s features. “Huh?” Didn’t he already do that?

“I didn’t mean to put so much pressure on you.”

Oh. “Oh.”

“It’s just,” his dad pauses, seemingly wrestling with his thoughts, “I just want to make sure you’ll be okay, Taichi. I think that’s what every parent worries about. And I suppose, to me that means you getting a college education. And even though you may not realize now how important that is—”

“Whoa, whoa, Dad,” Tai interrupts, rubbing his forehead before looking at his father. “You can stop right there because I absolutely _**do**_ realize how important that is. I don’t know why you think I don’t. And _**please**_ don’t say it’s because of football,” Tai speaks in a rush when he sees his father about to interrupt. “Because it’s _**not**_. Really. Just.” Tai inhales a fortifying breath to calm his nerves. “Can you just lay off for a while? I’m thinking about it. Really I am. It’s kind of hard not to, being my life and all, but.” He turns away then, abruptly losing whatever courage he mustered to even say all this to his dad. “I...” his voice peters out again and he’s unable to force the next words out.

“What is it, Tai?” his father asks, waiting patiently for his son to continue.

Tai inhales a deep breath and then another, but he still can’t say it. God. He feels so stupid.

“You can tell me anything, Son,” his father prompts, bumping his shoulder lightly against his. The assurance reminds Tai of when he was younger—when his dad would listen to him ramble on and on about whatever thoughts were running through his head even when half of them didn’t make a lick of sense. Conversations then came so much easier and were never so...big. And yet, he thinks maybe he’ll be able to admit to his dad what he hasn’t been able to admit to anyone else for the better part of a year. His dad wasn’t one to sugarcoat things. Although Tai is somewhat afraid to hear the uncensored truth from his dad, he thinks he’d feel even worse if he had to sit through fake platitudes from his friends.

“I guess,” he starts again. “I just don’t know what I want to do—what I want to _**be**_ when I...” Here he can’t help but laugh a little because really. “...when I grow up. I...there’s not much I’m really...” Tai swallows. “...good at, you know?”

There. He said it. He finally voiced it out loud, and Tai sqeezes his eyes shut, feeling as if he’s just took the plunge off of Mt. Fuji.

“Tai, that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Susumu says as he puts a comforting arm around his son’s shoulder and pulls him to his side. The action causes Tai to glance up uncertainly at his dad, who quirks up an eyebrow. “And believe me; you’ve said some pretty outrageous things in your life.”

The edges of Tai’s lips curl into a hesitant smile and his dad offers a reassuring one in return. “You’re good a lot of things, Tai. You’re a great leader, for one, if saving the Digital World and our world are any indication.”

Tai laughs hollowly with a small shake of his head. “I was an _**awful**_ leader, Dad. Always charging in without thinking first...and it’s not like _**I**_ saved the Digital World. We all did it together.”

“That’s exactly my point, Tai. A leader recognizes that it’s a team effort, what it takes to get something done and has the drive to motivate everyone to get it done. You do that. I’m not exactly sure what happened when you were in the Digital World, but from what I’ve heard, you helped organize your friends to beat those evil digimon. Not many people can do that.” Susumu glances at his son, who continues to stare at his lap. “You’re a terrific captain from what your sister tells me,” he adds, a little ashamed that he has to hear this secondhand. Tai looks up at him in surprise. “You helped your teammate get through a rough time too, from what I’ve heard.”

Tai blinks, momentarily confused. “Who, what—Ryo?” Tai shakes his head. “His game was off and when I asked him, he said his grandmother passed away recently. I just listened, really. It wasn’t anything.”

“It _**was**_ _s_ omething, Tai,” Susumu insists. “Your mother ran into Ryo’s mom the other day and she kept saying what a sweet kid you were taking Ryo out of the house to play football and to the arcade despite him being a freshman and all. She said it was the first time she’d seen her son smile since her mother passed away.”

Tai feels uncomfortable being praised for something anyone would have done. He’s not sure why helping out a fellow teammate is a big enough deal that his dad has to point it out and says so. His dad just gives him a bewildered look.

“I hate to say this, Son, but some people would have just looked the other way and not even bothered to ask. You, on the otherhand, identified that there _**was**_ a problem, reached out, and tackled it head on. I bet you would have done so even if you weren’t captain of your team.

“What I’m trying to say Tai,” his dad continues, “is that you reach out to people and rally them to get things done. It’s not a skill many people can even learn and you’re a natural at it. Don’t sell yourself short.”

Tai doesn’t know what to say, still confused as to how this is even helpful. “…I’m not sure how that really helps me know what to study in college though. Being able to talk and listen to people? To motivate them? How does that even translate to an actual job?”

Susumu blinks. “A _**lot**_ more than you think,” he exclaims and starts listing each point off his fingers. “Managers, counselors, human resources, project managers, salesman, politicians, diplomats...the list goes on and on.”

Tai mulls it over. Only a short while ago he thought he had absolutely no options and now it seems like he could have that many potential career paths? It doesn’t seem real, but it’s not like his dad would flat out lie to him.

His father smiles. “Now, I promise I’ll back off with the whole college thing just so long as you come to me whenever you want to talk about it, all right?”

Tai nods distractedly, his mind still in a whirlwind. “Okay.”

“Just don’t wait until the end of senior year,” Susumu adds wryly.

Tai smiles at that. “Sure. Thanks, Dad.”

“You’re welcome,” Susumu says, giving his son’s shoulder one last pat before he moves to stand up. He’s surprised when he’s met with resistance.

Tai holds onto his dad’s sleeve, looking a bit uncertain. “Actually, Dad? How...Did you know what you wanted to do at my age?”

Susumu sits back down, loosens the tie around his neck, and settles in to tell his son how he thought he wanted to be a scientist, but found he liked building things instead. He only allows himself to feel a brief pang of shame for not having this conversation sooner, that in his single-mindedness he forgot how confusing it is at Tai’s age. He only allows himself a moment because this isn’t about him. This is about Tai. Susumu can reflect on his shortcomings later (and he will), but for now, he speaks with his son, answers his questions, and shares stories of his youth, uncertainties, and confusion.

Later, when Tai gives him a quick hug before he dashes out of the room to use the bathroom, Susumu sighs loudly. “I’m an idiot.”

“It happens to the best of us.”

Susumu startles to see his wife standing just inside Tai’s bedroom door. Yuuko offers him a wry smile before walking across the floor and taking a seat beside him. She rests her head against his shoulder. “Tai will be fine, dear.”

Susumu nods, wondering when exactly he began to lose faith in his son. “I know,” he says, grasping her hand in his and squeezing it lightly. “I know.”

oOo

Taichi shuts his locker and rests his forehead against it. He releases a drawn out sigh.

It’s Monday; his first day back at school and it progresses exactly how he imagined it. Ms. Hanada hands back their exams and her expression alone confirms what he already knows. He failed the test and now is disqualified from participating in football. He barely pays attention after that, and thankfully, his teacher leaves him alone. She does hold him after class to ask how he’s feeling and to recommend some tutors. There’s still time to raise his grades before the semester ends, she says, but he’s too distracted to listen. Seeing this, she lets him head to his next class.

It’s lunch time now, and he has a meeting with Coach to discuss his status on the team. Fortunately, he hasn’t seen any of his teammates yet, but knows it’s only a matter of time before one of them seeks him out.

He picks his bag off the floor and turns around only to immediately step back when he sees he’s surrounded by his teammates. It’s the upperclassmen and his peers. None of the underclassmen though. His fingers tighten reflexively around the shoulder strap of his bag as he surveys the varying looks aimed in his direction. Shame builds from his gut all the way up to his throat and he inhales a fortifying breath before bowing deeply. “I’m sorry,” he blurts out, eyes trained on the ground. He can’t bring himself to look at them, stays that way until someone forcibly pushes him upright. It’s Takashi and he’s frowning, but he doesn’t look mad.

“Taichi, man, stop. _**Breathe**_.”

Taichi doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath and immediately does as he’s told. At once he feels better and after a few beats, only then does Takashi let go of his arms. He doesn’t move far though, hovering just to his right.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, looking at each and every one of them in turn. “I’m off the team until I can bring up my grades, but it won’t be in time for the game next week. I.” His gut clenches at what he has to say next, but knows it’s the right thing to do. “I’m going to tell Coach that I’m resigning as Captain. You need someone you can rely on, and I’m not that guy.”

He lowers his eyes to the ground again and waits for someone to say something. He’s hardly surprised when it’s Miike who does.

“You know what your problem is, Yagami?” the older teen says, and Taichi braces himself for a good tongue lashing. “You never know when to ask for help.”

He snaps his head up in surprise only to see Miike leveling him with his usual cool stare. “If you were having so much trouble,” the other continues, “why didn’t you come to us?”

“You?” Taichi blurts out in disbelief, and Miike scowls.

“Obviously not me, but anyone else,” he says, gesturing to his left and right where everyone is nodding in agreement. “We’re a team, right? At least that’s what you preach day in and day out as if we’re childr—”

“I think what Miike is trying to say,” Touma tactfully interjects before the conversation can deteriorate, “is that we’re a team on and off the field. You’re not in this by yourself, Taichi.”

As Tai scans everyone’s expressions, he sees no malice behind any and he swallows past a sudden lump in his throat.

“Yeah you knuckle head!” Hiroshi exclaims, throwing an arm around his shoulders and tries to give him a noogie. Taichi squawks, pushing the other away and as a consequence, manages to knock himself into Takashi. The other is having none of that and soon both his friends are trying to grab him into a headlock.

“I give! I give!” he cries out, laughing loudly and is soon set free.

“There you are.”

Taichi shoots Hiroshi a questioning look from behind his bangs and the latter just shrugs. “It’s just been doom and gloom with you lately. It’s good to hear you laugh.”

Tai cards his hair with his hand, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “It’s uh.” He coughs once. “It’s been a rough couple of months.”

“Understatement,” Takashi says, poking him in the chest, and Tai swipes at the offending appendage.

“So...”

“So, _**Captain**_ , get your grades up and meet us at Nationals,” Touma says. Then gestures behind him. “Kei has already volunteered to help you with calculus.” Tai looks to the upperclassman in question, who smiles in confirmation. Tai smiles back, expression clearly grateful. This is all too much, really. His eyes suddenly grow hot, and he ducks his head.

“Thanks. Thank you,” he says sincerely and with so, so much gratitude. Without preamble, Hiroshi hugs him and it knocks the wind out of Tai’s lungs. He reflexively wraps his arms around the other to steady them. “Oomph! Hiro, what—”

“And if you ever feel like that again, come talk, okay?” his friend whispers fiercely, his tone brokering no argument. “Don’t let it get so far again, all right?”

Tai stands there shocked before his eyes start to tear up again. He hugs the other back, and the brick he feels in his stomach finally turns to dust. “Yeah,” he murmurs. “Yeah, okay. M’Sorry,” he adds for good measure and receives a punch in the arm in response.

“Ow.”

“Suck it up, you jerk,” Takashi demands, eyes suspiciously wet, before he hugs him too, and soon the rest of the team (minus Miike who stands uncomfortably to the side) are crowding him and giving him firm pats on the back. It makes Tai’s heart swell, and he chokes out a wet laugh. It’s the happiest he’s felt in a very long time.


	4. Epilogue

In the months between Odaiba winning the playoffs and playing in the national championship game, Taichi is able to raise his grades enough to play too.

They don’t win in the end, but it’s a fantastic run and there’s always next year.

Tai is the last to head off the field when Coach calls him over. He jogs over and is quickly introduced to a scout, who apparently has been watching him all season. The man talks about playing in the national football team (not high school) and about scholarships and higher education and at that point Tai can only stare dumbfounded at the business card in his hand, while his family and friends watch eagerly from behind.

After the man leaves, Tai finally snaps out of it when he’s attacked from all sides by many overenthusiastic hugs, surprised by the kiss Yamato (the idiot) plants on him in front of everyone, and takes in the proud and you-have-a-lot-of-explaining-to-do looks (thanks a lot, Yamato) he receives from his parents.

Surrounded by his friends and family, for the first time, Taichi thinks maybe the future isn’t as scary as he thought it could be.

End


End file.
